The Network of Stolen Consciousness

by Beth Goobie

I am a survivor of intelligence cults that operate across Canada and are connected internationally. In 1959, I was born into an intergenerational CIA-connected cult that continues to operate in central Ontario. I was first subjected to calculated torture sessions in the womb, and have been able to integrate fetal selves as an adult. I was an experienced dissociater at birth, an accomplished prostitute before kindergarten, and was being circulated on an elite international circuit by grade school.

My programming involved fragmentation into alters who were trained as sex agents, couriers, computers, and cult alters (priestess, seeker, caller, whore, slave, trainer, etc.). Some of my alters were trained to handle weapons. The stories of Kathleen Sullivan, Brice Taylor, Cisco Wheeler, and Claudia Mullen, as well as Cathy O’Brien’s Trance Formation of America describe much that is familiar to me, including near-death centers and ‘hunting.’ I would like to thank each of these women for speaking out. I deeply admire your courage. Keep going.

My perspective differs somewhat from the women mentioned above in that I have experienced a great deal, both personally and through recovered memory, of the metaphysical. I do not believe occult ceremonies are based solely on superstition and programming. It is my understanding that both cults and the intelligence network are developing the technology to exploit the metaphysical realities that are a daily part of all our lives, and that they intend to use these metaphysical realities to fragment and radically realign the consciousness of the average citizen for purposes of ‘mind control’ and to ‘feed’ off the energy of each individual life. I would like to discuss this as a complex process that aligns the brain to specific frequencies, then uses calculated trauma and dissociation to force interaction with the metaphysical. This interaction is then programmed for specific purposes by the intelligence community.

First, however, I think it important to note the basic motivation that drives mystery cults to perpetrate their heinous illegal activities: the desire to live forever. In search of immortality, cults have always explored metaphysical gateways to alternate dimensions that can be opened through traumatic dissociation. These out-of-body experiences teach cult members to exist as frequencies; conscious knowing energy that has been dissociated from the body during trauma. One can leave the body at many different frequencies, and each frequency opens up a different dimension of reality or ‘mystery,’ as well as interaction with the entities which inhabit these dimensions.



Members of mystery cults have also learned to exploit the human energy of others as ‘feed,’ extending their own longevity within the body. They have learned to transmit more and more of their consciousness into alternate dimensions (some are called Heaven, Hell, the Mysteries, etc.), where their ‘spirits’ will live after their bodies die, so that they are ‘storing up their treasures’ not on earth, but in alternate ‘spiritual’ realities. These dissociated ‘spirits’ are composed of energy and continue to exist only as long as they are ‘fed’ through the kill energy of human sacrifice. If not, they fade as all energy fades, because human beings are not meant to live forever.

It is my understanding that the intelligence community has been developing the technology to explore and facilitate this process. While their goals are much more complex than the desire for immortality, this is one of the many different aspects of consciousness which they have been attempting to technologize and control. Everything that they eventually accomplish, however, begins with the process of dissociation.

Dissociation is commonly experienced during trauma. Rape and traffic accident survivors describe out-of-body experiences during which they float above their bodies and watch terrifying activities transpire below. This experience occurs naturally, whether the actual trauma is a fluke occurrence or a calculated torture session. What I have come to understand, based on a decade of recovery, is that the traumatized mind of a young child doesn’t just send itself upward to escape. It can dissociate in one or all six directions simultaneously. As I grew older, the number of escape routes into which my mind projected itself increased into the hundreds, even thousands, but to a very young mind, there are only six immediate directions to leave the body, and this is the reason the number six is basic to cult primary programming.

After consciousness projects itself out-of-body to escape trauma, it continues to exist. A dissociated fragment of consciousness (an alter) can watch and think, remember and record what is happening to her body as she hovers above, beside or below it. (Many survivors can remember a single torture session from several out-of-body perspectives. These tend to be less affected by pain, shock, drugs or virtual reality headsets because they no longer reside within the body. This is the source of the majority of recovered memories Æ dissociated alters who have been projected out-of-body.) When the trauma ends, and the body is free from pain and fear, these fragments of consciousness will probably return to it. If the incident of pain/fear is not repeated, the dissociated fragments of consciousness will most likely merge with core consciousness and there will be no long-term loss of memory.

The reason most people commonly remember dissociating upward during trauma is because Up is the easiest out-of-body dimension to recall. The human body naturally lives within many interactive dimensions of reality, but Western society has programmed the individual to limit consciousness to the small fragment of reality we commonly call ‘the real world.’ Many people who dissociate and have an out-of-body experience will describe a great deal of activity going on ‘around’ us. The term ‘Around’ is a common cult trigger that refers to alternate dimensions, and it is frequently used to trigger an individual into sending a programmed fragment of consciousness (an alter) out-of-body, in order to initiate interaction that exists at a frequency outside ‘real world’ consciousness.

We are electric beings. Consciousness is a form of energy that is naturally coded into many different frequencies. These frequencies of consciousness align with the many alternate dimensions of reality we live within. Thus out-of-body states can occur at many different frequencies of consciousness. When consciousness leaves the body, it becomes a form of energy, a set of brain waves that has been projected outward. This energy, or brain frequency, can change as it travels. Consciousness that is projected upward leaves the body as quick warm vibrations. As consciousness travels upward, the vibrations quicken and grow warmer, the colors of the vibrations change from pastels to white light, and sounds are emitted at higher and higher pitches. The dimensions through which this projected consciousness travels also correspond to these changing frequencies.

I clearly recall ECT torture sessions at a doctor’s office in which I was told by the doctor to send myself upward. Before the electric shock was applied, I would be told a story about the dimension in which I was supposed to relocate after I left my body. For example:

“Up Up Up is a land of angels,” he (the doctor) says. “It’s a land where everything is white and clean. The angels are friendly and they sing happy songs. They play harps and sit on clouds. There are many white crosses there. When you go to Up Up Up, you’ll be happy. There will be no devils and there will be no dark.” (The Only-Good Heart, Goobie, p. 45)

As electric shock was applied to send me upward, a carefully choreographed scenario would often take place around me. For example, a man dressed as a devil might come running into the doctor’s office:

“Then the door to the Operating Room bursts open and a devil comes in. A devil all dressed in black with horns on his head. The nurse screams, waving her hands. ‘Gotcha,’ the devil yells at me. ‘Gotcha, Dorell. Gotcha.’ I’m jerking from the electricity so I can’t watch the devil jump all around me with his pitchfork. The doctor keeps sayinig, ‘Up Up Up.’ It starts to happen. As if I’m a white sheet pinned to a clothesline and the clothes pins come loose and a wind picks the sheet up slow, lifting me higher and higher, away from where I’m tied down, away from the electricity. Now, it doesn’t hurt no more. It’s easy, I lift into Up where I been lots of times. (The Only-Good Heart, p. 45)

As I traveled upward, I found myself passing through levels of out-of-body consciousness. The first level, which I was taught to call ‘Up,’ existed just under the office ceiling. There I was able to float free of pain and fear, and watch as the doctor and nurse applied further electric shock to my pre-school body on the table below. However, I wasn’t alone as I floated in ‘Up’ and watched my body – other dissociated fragments of consciousness were floating there with me. One belonged to the doctor, one to the nurse, one to the man dressed as a devil, and there were several who looked like me and seemed to live there permanently; each of them watched what was taking place below. When they talked to each other, their voices were slightly higher than normal.

As more electric shock was applied to my body, I traveled further upward, passing through the ceiling into the next level which was called ‘Up Up’ – a sky-blue dimension full of dissociated fragments of consciousness belonging to familiar and unfamiliar people, all of them floating peacefully. These fragments looked like human bodies but had a spirit-like quality, and their voices were slightly higher and faster than voices in ‘Up.’ The next dimension, ‘Up Up Up,’ existed at a white-light frequency that was also peaceful and populated with human-looking high-voiced angels, some of whom looked like me. However the level above this was a dimension of ‘pure white fire’ and extremely difficult to endure. The white figures of ‘angels’ could be seen traveling up and down from this level, which was called ‘God,’ a collective dimension of the projected psychic energy of electric shock.

In later ECT torture sessions, I traveled past ‘God’ into dimensions of outer space where I floated among stars and planets. Again, I found other fragments of human consciousness in these dimensions, though not as many. The doctor who controlled the ECT sessions programmed my out-of-body consciousness to return to my body when a specific tactile trigger was applied to my body. When I returned, he would have me report everything I had seen and experienced while traveling out-of-body. Gradually I realized he couldn’t, or wouldn’t, travel as far as I did, either because he didn’t want to experience the level of electric shock it took to dissociate that far, or because he was unable to project psychically as far as I was.

I learned that the immediate dimensions surrounding me could change, depending on the room I was in and the people in the room with me. However, these dimensions remained collective and interactive – they could be entered by anyone who ‘tuned into’ them. A few of these upward dimensions had specific names such as Heaven, Seventh Heaven, Paradise, City of God, the Emerald City, or Narnia. Many involved flying unicorns, butterflies or rainbows, as well as settings from children’s books and television shows.

I also experienced torture sessions in cold dark rooms that often involved being hung upside-down or placed inside coffins. I would be ordered to ‘go Down’ – i.e., project my consciousness downward. The mind travels downward in slow dark frequencies that commonly trigger interaction with psychic dimensions of graveyards, tunnels, caves, demons, vampires or ghosts. These dimensions are as interactive as white-light dimensions; i.e., dissociated fragments of human consciousness already inhabit these levels, taking the forms of vampires or demons, just as they took on the forms of spirits and angels in the white-light dimensions.

It has been my experience that avoiding the typical value judgements placed on dark and light psychic realities is essential to healing. These dimensions are about frequencies of consciousness, not good and evil. They exist naturally, but are exploited by cults as a method of ‘storing’ memory and consciousness as an energy source that the cult elite and non-human entities then feed upon. In order to accomplish this, cults carefully split and regulate a young child’s ‘in-body’ and ‘out-of-body’ awareness, through the fragmentation and storage of consciousness in polarized dimensions such as Up and Down, Heaven and Hell, castles on the clouds and graveyards.

Cults have always used trauma-based programming to force their members to send fragments of consciousness into aligned dimensions. In the sixties, intelligence cults became the guinea pigs for the technology that was being developed to enhance and control this process. The intelligence community was learning as it experimented, and the early stages were extremely blunt-edged, the goal being the creation of a quick and reliable dissociative response in the child through calculated episodes of trauma. The basic lesson a child had to learn was that it was preferable to exist not in the body, but in the psychic out-of-body dimensions of the mind. As an infant, I was often left in a brightly-lit cold room for long periods, naked, lying in my own feces and urine, while tape-recorded sounds such as grinding gears were played at a loud volume. My infant selves learned to respond as intended:

“And I know wanting. Wanting, wanting. I overflow my skin with sobs, wails I send out in search of  mother hands, mother voice. Rooted in heart and the tips of nerves, a tiny longing energy floats around me. Against this, the huge grinding noise cuts deeper. The Body opens into a raw red wound. The longing released. Vague baby shape, transparent as a wish, the longing hovers a moment over the three-day-old infant’s Body spread naked and wailing, then drifts around the room. Wishing mother hands, wishing mother voice. The open doorway, too far for The Body’s eyes to bring into focus, comes close-up into the longing’s gaze. This is the first door: escape from grinding sound, burning skin, the overwhelming light. Through the doorway into a hallway, immediately shadowed, the horror of sound and light placed further back. Lost, the longing drifts in the upper hallway where every other door is closed, then floats down the long stairwell of the old house to the first floor. There are different sounds at the end of this hall and the longing travels through another open doorway into a large white kitchen. Here a woman stands at a stove cooking soup.” (The Only-Good Heart, p. 19)

As I grew older, I was frequently gagged and tied in my highchair, then left for hours. After I had stopped struggling to gain attention and was slumped unresponsively with glazed eyes, I would be fed and bathed, but only after I had learned that in the body I was nothing, I did not exist, no one would respond to me or love me. What I soon discovered, however, was that if I left my body and projected upward, a loving out-of-body version of my mother was waiting in ‘Up’ to care for me there. Very quickly I learned that mother-love, human love, and God’s love all existed upward, out-of-body in the ‘spirit’ world.

To further ingrain this lesson, my abusers maintained a constant assault on my body that took many forms: emotional, physical and sexual abuse, immersion in water, spinning, heat and cold, flashing lights, and loud sounds. Pins and needles were inserted into my skin and genitals in specific patterns that correlated with acupuncture and acupressure techniques. Often the torture was over-stimulation. One ritual involved many robed people standing around me, each rubbing a fingertip in a gentle circle on my skin. Fingers were also inserted into my mouth and vagina. Voices would whisper different messages into each ear at different speeds and pitches. To escape the confusion and over-stimulation, I learned to use the circling motion each fingertip left on my skin as a gate, and to leave my body simultaneously through each one.

Programming to fragment my spatial perception enhanced the dissociative process. In one scenario, I would be told to take a step to the right. As I took this step, my trainer would snap his fingers, creating an auditory break in consciousness. Then I was told my name had become ‘Rightie.’ When ordered to take a step to the left, my name became ‘Leftie.’ Pushed to the floor, I was given the name ‘Downie’. There was also an ‘Uppie,’ a ‘Backie,’ and a ‘Frontie.’ Predictably, Rightie, Uppie and Frontie had positive experiences, while Leftie, Downie and Backie had negative ones. (The polarized good-bad functions of the six directions were reinforced in many different ways. For instance, I was often told that if I turned around inside my head, threw my bad memories into the dark, then turned around to the front and opened my eyes to see the light, the bad memories would be gone.) Electric shock was added to the finger snap, increasing the break in consciousness, until these six ‘direction’ alters were divided from my in-body consciousness by a wall of energy composed of electric-shock, pain, and fear.

All six of these alters continued to exist outside my body, in ‘Around.’ This meant that ‘Beth,’ who lived inside my body, had a reduced awareness of her immediate surroundings, because part of her consciousness had been pulled outside her. If someone snapped his fingers and said “Right,” ‘Beth’ would step to the right, fade out, and the alter ‘Rightie’ would take over the body. ‘Rightie’ had no awareness of ‘Beth’ or what went on in the body when ‘Beth’ inhabited it. As this program was expanded to create further alters who lived two steps out from the body, then three, more and more of my consciousness was pulled out-of-body into ‘Around,’ and my spatial perception grew more confused. Even as an adult, identifying east or west, right or left, took careful thinking on my part, well into my recovery process.

Once a child’s spatial perception has been carefully fragmented and pulled out-of-body, it becomes relatively easy to trigger switches in consciousness within the body. The child gradually reaches a point where she switches every time she changes physical direction; for instance, every time the body shifts to the left or right while playing tag on the playground, switches in consciousness are occurring, so that there is a constant blur of memory and focus. As a result, the child grows more confused, less self-reliant, and more responsive to external demands. This breakdown in spatial perception also enhances other types of switch programming that rely on physical realities, such as rainbow programming.

As a small child, I was taken to the foot of a large rainbow that had tracks running over it much like a midway ride. My birth parents would say goodbye to me and place me in the cart. The cart would physically take me ‘over the rainbow.’ On the other side, a different family stood waiting. They told me they were my new family and gave me a new name. While I lived with this new family (which might be as little as half a day), my birth family was never mentioned, and I was programmed for a new series of tasks. Once this had been accomplished, I would be returned ‘over the rainbow’ to my birth parents.

As the rainbow was used as a physical bridge of amnesia between more and more realities, it translated into verbal and visual cues. If I happened to remember something that belonged to another reality and mentioned it, my mother would quickly say, “That’s over the rainbow, Beth,” and I would be triggered to ‘forget’ or dissociate that consciousness. Soon I simply had to be shown a picture of a rainbow and I would ‘forget’ one reality and switch to another. (These rainbows could also be black and white, upside-down, or come in different color patterns.) Greeting cards that display rainbows are frequently used to reinforce ‘forgetting.’

An intelligence cult member is also programmed to ‘forget’ or displace memory through common activities such as sweeping, shoveling, cleaning, throwing out the garbage, bathing, eating (poisoning the memories), and closing doors. External sounds, such as ticking on the wall, will trigger a shift in consciousness. For instance, a ticking on the wall to one’s left will activate an out-of-body alter which exists to the left of the body. Modern technology can cause ticking sounds on a wall from a remote location, so that thousands of ticking sounds can be heard coming from every wall in a room simultaneously. This is an effective scatter/scramble program, intended to disorient the victim. The term ‘ticketyboo’ is a common verbal trigger used to fragment and scatter consciousness.

As my physical reality became more fragmented and my consciousness was pulled more and more into ‘Around,’ I learned to dissociate quickly and reliably. Since my ‘trainers’ wanted to control my ‘out-of-body’ alters as well as my ‘in-body’ consciousness, they needed to program me to store memory fragments and alters in calculated structures. (Note: Forgetting is not losing memory, it is a storage process.) A basic storage structure frequently mentioned by survivors is the matrix, or derivatives thereof, such as the acrostic. A child will be shown a basic tic-tac-toe matrix, wherein each square has a number or letter, and told to store an alter in each square. An alternative to this is a hallway of color-coded doors with a room for each alter, or a dungeon with cells. These structures are layered according to frequencies; the more pain or trauma that is applied to the body, the further ‘out-of-body’ the hallway or matrix into which the alter will project itself to ‘live.’

The cross in the circle is one of the most basic storage structures. Each section is known as a quadrant. The two upper quadrants store alters at a white-light frequency. The upper right side stores alters at positive ‘happy’ frequencies, the left side stores white-light alters traumatized by electric shock, or pins and needles (etc.). The lower half stores alters at dark frequencies, the left quadrant ‘keeping’ the traumatized frequencies, the right quadrant ‘keeping’ the positive ones. Cults, and society in general, constantly program us to limit our consciousness to the upper right quadrant (i.e., right=light=good=happy) and the lower left quadrant (i.e., left=dark=bad=terror). Common cult triggers link phrases such as ‘good people,’ ‘children of light,’ ‘path of light,’ and Christian terminology. Healing involves exploring the positive power of the dark as well as the trauma stored in one’s white-light frequencies, and dissolving the cross.

Another basic storage structure is ‘star programming.’ Beginning in early childhood, electric shock was applied to my genitals to create ‘stars selves,’ which would then be arranged in constellations, even entire universes. I was usually prepared through a careful series of triggers. As I lay in my bed at bedtime, my father would tell me, “If you see Daddy tonight, it’s just a dream.” Then he would say, “You are rising, little Beth, lifting up out of your body. Keep going straight up. Up, go Up, and there you will find a room just like this one, with a bed just like this one. Now climb into that bed and go to sleep up there.”

As I had been programmed to dissociate on verbal cue, I would lift out of my body, float upward and find the psychic dimension he had described. There, one of my father’s dissociated alters would lean over, kiss me goodnight, turn out the light, and leave the room. Meanwhile, down below in the ‘real world,’ another alter would be triggered to enter my body. This alter (who I will now refer to as ‘me’ or ‘I’) would then be led to the basement where electric shock equipment had been set up, and laid on an old wooden table with a bare bulb burning overhead. As I stared at the light bulb’s vivid burning wire, my genitals would be gently stimulated, triggering a state of arousal. I would then be shown a picture of a five-pointed star.

“Do you want to be a star?” my mother would ask. Stars were beautiful. They were white and pure and faraway. Who wouldn’t want to be a star instead of a human body? “Yes, I want to be a star,” I would reply.

“You can be a star,” my mother would say. “Just a second of pain, and then you’ll be a star.”

“Up Up Up Up Up,” my father would cue, then apply shock to my genitals. Still in a state of arousal, I would leave my body as conscious sexual energy and travel upward to the ‘fifth dimension’ Æ the dimension past God, where the stars and planets lived. In this dimension, I felt no pain, only sexual arousal; but a pain barrier had been created between my ‘star self’ and my body — the memory of the electric shock that had been applied to my genitals. If my star self wanted to return to my body, or my body wanted to retrieve the energy and consciousness that had been imbedded in this particular star self, either one would first have to pass through the painful shock barrier that had been erected between them.

As I grew older, I was shown pictures of familiar and unfamiliar constellations and programmed to store star selves in patterns at different frequencies. Eventually many universes were created, including color stars and color universes. Planets inhabited by systems of alters became another means of storage. I was also shown pictures of spaceships and told to ‘send’ myself to them. Alters who ran these spaceships controlled the alters living in stars and planets, and reported to ‘earth’ or in-body alters, who then reported outside the body to trainers. Many of these ‘outer space’ alters traveled between planets and spaceships in ‘beams of light,’ and some looked like aliens. Star Trek imagery has been heavily incorporated into intelligence cult programming.

The Network of Stolen Consciousness

Part 2

Born in 1959, I am a survivor of an intergenerational CIA-connected cult that continues to operate in central Ontario, Canada. In Part 1, I discussed the manner in which intelligence cults have been developing the technology to exploit the metaphysical realities that are a daily part of all our lives. I proposed that the intelligence community intends to use this technology to fragment and radically realign the consciousness of the average citizen for purposes of ‘mind control’ and to ‘feed’ off the energy of each individual life. I attempted to describe a complex process that utilizes frequencies of sounds and light/color to align a victim’s brain to specific vibrations (metaphysical portals). Calculated trauma and dissociation then force the victim into interaction with metaphysical entities through out-of-body experiences.

We are electric beings. Consciousness is a form of energy that is naturally coded into many different frequencies. These frequencies align with the many alternate dimensions of reality that we live within. Out-of-body states occur at many different frequencies of consciousness, each frequency aligns with a different dimension, and each dimension is collective and interactive — they can be entered by anyone who ‘tunes into’ them. It has been my experience that avoiding the typical (programmed) value judgments placed on dark and light psychic realities is essential to healing. These dimensions are about frequencies of traumatized consciousness, not good and evil. They exist naturally, but are exploited by cults as a method of ‘storing’ memory and consciousness as an energy source that the cult elite and non-human entities then feed upon.

In order to accomplish this, cults carefully split and regulate a young child’s ‘in-body’ and ‘out-of-body’ awareness through the fragmentation and storage of consciousness (alters or personalities) in polarized dimensions such as Up and Down, Heaven and Hell, castles on the clouds and graveyards. Common storage structures are the matrix, hallways of doors, the cross in the circle, and galaxies of stars and planets. These structures are layered according to frequencies — the more pain and trauma that is applied to the body, the further out-of-body the storage structure to which the alter is project to ‘live.’

‘Star programming’ was predominant in the 60s and Star Trek imagery is basic to intelligence cult programming. I remember being shown pictures of familiar and unfamiliar constellations and told to create ‘star selves’ in these patterns. Painful shock was then applied, often to my genitalia, to force dissociation and projection out-of-body at a specific frequency. These star patterns included color stars and color universes. Planets, inhabited by systems of alters, are another means of storage. I was shown pictures of spaceships and told to ‘send’ myself into them. Alters who ran these spaceships controlled the alters living in stars and planets, and reported to ‘earth’ or in-body alters, who then reported outside the body to my trainers (also called ‘owners’ or ‘handlers’). Many of these ‘outer space’ alters traveled between planets and spaceships in ‘beams of light’ and some looked like aliens.

For instance, one of my alters was placed in a room that resembled the deck of the Starship Enterprise, in a chair that faced a large screen. My brain was then tuned to a specific frequency (an altered state), and a large bulbous head appeared on a screen. This ‘alien’ gave my alter instructions. Then the ‘Captain’s Chair’ electro-shocked my alter into projecting herself out-of-body at a specific frequency, carrying with her the memory of this programming scenario, and recreating it in the dimension to which she was sent. In this out-of-body dimension, this alter would be fed instructions coded to her frequency, but would receive them through the ‘alien’ which continued to appear to her on the spaceship screen in her dimension. If she was triggered to return to my body, she would bring all of her ‘spaceship memories’ with her, firmly believing she had always existed in a physical ‘in-body’ reality, and that this ‘alien’ was part of the ‘real world.’

As I grew older, ‘star programming’ remained basic to my sexual exploitation. During S&M sex, I was frequently told to “Get above it all. Rise to a higher level. Leave the pain behind.” A john’s common verbal trigger would be “I am a god.” As gods only exist upward, in white-light frequencies, this would cue me to associate alters from white-light dimensions. “I am your slave” would be my programmed response. “Send me the stars” would be the ‘god’s’ next line, triggering the entry of star selves into my body. Different storage universes exist at different frequencies and contain alters with a variety of functions, but all star selves are stored consciousness, many of them sexual energy. Upon command, they would pass through me into the john, so that my body was used to channel raw energy into his life. This source of ‘feed’ enabled his health, longevity, consciousness, and psychic abilities, while my consciousness and energy were further depleted.

Some white-light selves were stored in grids. I was often shown a split-second image of a naked woman tied to a cross, then simultaneously hit with bright light, a high-pitched sound, and electric shock. My consciousness would then project itself upward to the desired frequency and take the form of a girl tied to a cross. This was not a private isolated psychic dimension (none of them are), but a collective shared one, and my out-of-body cross-shaped alter would then connect to other cross-shaped humans in a grid. This linked me in a grid-pattern of consciousness to many other humans who had dissociated cross-shaped alters at the same frequency. It is my understanding that these grids are programmed structures used to ‘beam’ information to groups of victims simultaneously, at a frequency beyond body consciousness.

The dissociative process was also used to color-code alters. For example, I would be subjected to a session of torture or sexual assault. Sometime during the session, I would be given a new name such as Clara. Clara would then be told to go Up or Down, a whistle or bell would sound (high sounds for Up, low sounds for Down) and a colored light flash (light colors for Up, dark colors for Down.) If, for example, the whistle sounded at high C and the flashing light was pink, Clara would experience this color and sound as one frequency (synesthesia), tune into it, become it, then leave the body at this particular frequency. (Alters are brain frequencies. Intelligence cults program alters to exist at specific frequencies.) As Clara left my body at a pink high-C frequency, she would take all consciousness and memory of her specific torture/training session into a corresponding dimension of consciousness, and store it out-of-body at that frequency.

Clara would continue to live within her pink psychic dimension, where all sounds had the same pitch as the original whistle that had summoned her there. She would be oblivious to the ongoing life of the body she had left, but she would interact with any other fragments of human consciousness who were ‘sent’ into her dimension or who ‘tuned into’ it voluntarily, because Clara didn’t create the brain frequency at which she left her body, nor did she create the dimension she entered at this frequency. She was simply guided to it by the two triggers that were used to align her to this specific dimension — a particular shade of pink, and a high C pitch. Any other human who dissociated at this frequency could also enter the dimension she inhabited. Thus my abusers (they called themselves ‘trainers,’ ‘owners’ or ‘handlers’) could engage with Clara psychically, traumatizing her further, and training her for specific tasks. However, this training was generally restricted to ‘out-of-body’ psychic tasks. Most of the training for ‘in-body’ tasks took place only when Clara was triggered to return to the body.

Consciousness was also dissociated and stored in the lower frequencies. The most common storage facilities in the lower range of consciousness are graveyards, dungeons, tombs, caves and tunnels. Alters buried here are not lost, merely ‘filed’ for future reference, and all can be revived. A common method of ‘killing’ an alter is to slide a finger across the throat, left to right, in the same gesture as a knife used in ritualized killings the body. The alter then splits into two frequencies of energy — a white ‘spirit’ rises upward (to where it is often stored in a white-light grid, a network of collective dissociated consciousness), and a dark ‘soul’ slides downward into a coded grave. Usually high-pitched and low-pitched sounds will align the dissociated parts to the desired storage dimensions. ‘Caller’ selves are singing selves, whose job is to keep alters aligned according to specific sound frequencies. These caller selves are essential to the healing process.

Pitch can also be used to call an alter back into the body, and ‘in-body’ consciousness. Since alters are brain frequencies, essentially frequencies of colour and pitch, a slight alteration in voice tone can trigger a switch in consciousness. Phone calls are commonly used to trigger this sort of programming — a quick high voice or a low slow voice will both trigger switching. Push-button phones can also transmit specific trigger patterns of sound.

Cults program their members to exist in lower frequency dimensions as demons, vampires and ghouls, etc. As a teenager, I remember being placed in a small chamber which was then lowered into a pit. The temperature within the chamber was also lowered, and the lights turned off. A slow low throb would sound. When my in-body consciousness had aligned with the temperature and sound, an image of a dark demon with red eyes appeared on the wall in front of me. A deep voice, coded into the low throbbing sound, told me that my name was now Daemona, and that I was to leave my body and become a demon. As cued, I projected myself into the visual image I saw in front of me. Thus ‘Daemona’ was born as an out-of-body consciousness that existed below the body, at the frequency of consciousness coded into the low throbbing sound, the cold and the dark.

This process is used to create and store alters as angels, butterflies (Monarchs, anyone?), and birds (most commonly red birds), as well as many human-looking alters color-coded by clothing and eyes. Thus, frequencies of sound, color, light and dark are used to divide, store and exploit consciousness. Holographs and virtual reality headsets have also been used as gateways to trigger alters to enter specific collective dimensions. The media is currently being used by the intelligence community to create dimensions of consciousness that can then be used to program and store alters in psychic interactive dimensions. In the last decade, the technology has been developed to beam images onto the human brain during sleep from remote control locations. This technology serves many purposes — to program individuals for specific tasks while asleep, to create ‘false’ or ‘screen’ memories, to cut people off from their own true dreaming which is a wellspring of consciousness, individuality and spirituality, and to establish generic dimensions of consciousness (more effectively than the television set). However, this ‘techno-dream’ technology also enables intelligence cults to trigger an individual to create and project alters into new dimensions on an ongoing basis without trauma-based physical contact.

If you can remember them, these techno-dreams are easy to identify. Whether they involve alien abductions, demons, rituals, ‘children of light’ or ‘star people’ scenarios, Armageddon-type wars between the ‘Lord of Light’ and the ‘Dark Lord,’ or simply sessions with a psychiatrist instructing you about ‘your’ mental illness, the main identifying feature is that they do not interact with the individual dreamer. Techno-dreams are generic images, movies that have been created to program thousands of individuals, perhaps simultaneously. For example, the psychiatrist in a techno-dream does not say, “Now Beth, your symptoms of schizophrenia are becoming pronounced.” She says, “Your symptoms of schizophrenia…”

I woke from one techno-dream in which I seemed to be lying on a stretcher while reptilian-type aliens loomed all about me. One leaned over me, and seemed to be pushing something into my head. If I hadn’t woken and accessed the tail-end of this dream, one of my alters who existed at the ‘sleep-frequency’ at which this techno-dream was being broadcast would have been programmed to believe she had been kidnapped by reptilian aliens, and that they now controlled her through a brain implant. When I accessed this ‘techno-dream,’ I didn’t consider it to be a memory because the scene had obviously taken place through the eye of a camera that had been laid on an operating table. Humans in reptilian costumes then stood around the table and one of them placed its hands above and beyond the camera lens so it would look as if it were pressing something into the ‘dreamer’s’ brain.

Another quick method of distinguishing between true memories and techno-dreams is through perspective. Memories recovered from an ‘in-body’ perspective are usually accompanied by physical sensations connected to the original trauma. However, most memories are recovered from an ‘out-of-body’ perspective, through an alter that had already left the body, and was watching the trauma take place from above or to the side of the body. Recovering these memories is like watching a movie of your own life, without physical sensation, and you star in all the scenarios. Thus, if you don’t see yourself in the ‘memory’, or if it takes place from the ‘eye of the camera’ without accompanying body sensations, then the ‘memory’ just might be a techno-dream. It would be far too complex and expensive for the intelligence community to tailor-make techno-dreams for each experimental victim — these would have to include actors that resemble the victim, as well as the victim’s family and friends, or at the very least a psychiatrist that addresses each techno-dream victim individually by name.

Intelligence cults have been mapping a wider and wider spectrum of frequencies available to dissociated human consciousness. I remember experiments at military bases that involved projecting ‘Seeker’ alters further and further out into the cosmos, in order to seek and collect new frequencies of energy for experimentation:

Today, Major Kalinski has me sit in the Electric Chair and face the screen. The Seeking Room looks a little like the deck of the Starship Enterprise, minus the goodwill. No need to strap me in, I know there’s nowhere to go around here. Lights are controlled by thought waves; the Major blips a few of his brain frequencies and the room darkens. As it does, the screen opens to a view of stars, planets, asteroids: space guck. This screen is another Gateway you can’t see until the lights are off … Far in the distance, a pale pink light. “Find it,” says Major Kalinski. “Bring it in.” The pain begins. For this type of seeking, there’s always applied pain. It’s their weapon to force you to go the distance. It’s also another frequency tuner, so when you’ve traveled to the required dimension, you’re either at the correct frequency or as close as they can get you. Pain comes in different textures, sounds and colours.

Today Major Kalinski tunes The Electric Chair until it’s giving me pain close to the frequency of pink I see on the screen … Shot out. Released. The room and the Electric Chair gone. Sudden immense dark. Space guck floating nearby. I’m no longer flesh, I am energy, the neon pink energy of pain, without the nerve tips to feel it. Freedom. Ahead of me glows the pink star. In the Seeking Room, Major Kalinski watches me as a tiny pink blip on a screen. To him, the star I’m hovering around looks like a pale rose light. Up close, this rose terrifies, roars and belches incalculable heat. Without nerve ends I can match it, as long as the body continues to send me pain frequencies that are strong enough. Focus. Pick up the frequencies coming out of the rose. Adjust. Move in. Fast. Fast as the energy coming at you. No thought, or only thought. Focused narrow line of thought shot straight into the heat and volume of fear.

Now I’m inside, part of the star, its being. I focus in tight. Then slowly I widen at an even rate, allowing the star to rip a hole into the middle of me, tear my center open. I focus on my edges, keeping the circle firm and strong. That circle gives and it’s all over, for me, for the body, for every me in every dimension I carry. Circle still strong. The star’s energy registers as cosmic violence pushing in. Early on I learned the solution to this level of energy: become hole, become edge of hole. Let it all into the hole, let the hole become a Channel leading back to the Seeking Room. But not to the Body … No, the Channel leads back to a Gateway to the left of the body. This Gateway opens onto a dimension of void, prepared to accept whatever comes to it. The void dimension is encased within several other dimensions; Major Kalinski will see the pink frequency arrive and collect, but he’ll be protected from any nasty side effects. (The Only-Good Heart, pages 105-106)

Seeker selves are also commonly used to locate dimensions of ‘feed’ for elite cult members. I remember scenarios that ran as follows: A man tells me, “Go down, downdowndowndown, downdowndowndown. You see a door. What is the number on the door?” One of my alters travels down the required eight levels and reports, “It’s not a number. It’s a tree and a cross.” “Go in,” the man says. “You’re in a hallway now. Count three doors to your left. Now go in. What do you see?” My alter tells him what the room looks like. If she has arrived at the correct location, he says something like, “Let the power fill you.” She then absorbs the dark frequency surrounding her and channels it upward into my body. The man has sex with my body and absorbs the energy.

Much of my trauma-based programming involved ‘Seeker’ alters who were triggered to leave the body and explore dimensions that existed at frequencies currently unknown to the intelligence cult, then report back to my trainer. Different levels of electric shock and radiation were explored in order to calculate the ‘levels’ of consciousness to which they might project an individual. I remember being tested with sounds of all types, being told to send myself into them, then report what I saw or experienced in the corresponding dimensions that opened up. I was also tested in this way for sounds beyond the conscious range of hearing. Drugs facilitated this process because they were a mechanistic means of altering brain frequencies and the dimensions that could then be perceived. They also intensified the experience. It is my understanding that drugs do not create ‘false images,’ — i.e., ‘hallucinations’ — they alter brain frequencies and connect an individual to a different range of dimensions. (These dimensions can also be reached drug-free through meditation.)

In ‘seeking’ experiments, color patterns were often flashed on a wall, and I was told “send yourself into the gate.” I would then project myself through the gateway pattern of colors flashing on the wall, through to a different dimension of consciousness. Out-of-body, I would explore this dimension, seeking out its possible uses as frequencies of consciousness (‘feed’) and the non-human entities that inhabited it, until my trainer triggered me to return to my body. Sometimes I would project myself through a color gate to find one of my trainer’s dissociated alters already waiting for me in the desired dimension. Other times I would report back what I had found, and then the trainer would join me there. These were exploration scenarios; even out-of-body, many of these dimensions were unbearable. Children were used as guinea pigs and sometimes died; others were left permanently disabled. The greater your ability to seek and travel, the more interested intelligence cults were in ‘owning you’ for the rest of your life.

The occult has always based its activities on the process of dissociation, using trauma to teach individuals to ‘send’ themselves out-of-body in order to interact with paranormal entities. The human nervous system can be aligned to many different dimensions/states of consciousness. Pins and needles have been one of the primary methods of establishing trauma-based ‘exit gates’ through which consciousness will leave the body in specific alignments. The occult has always been about fear and pain; pins and needles force a child to send consciousness into dimensions of terror and compliance. The ‘gods’ and ‘demons’ which cults serve are entities which exist at these frequencies of terror. The true spectrum of consciousness extends far beyond frequencies of fear and compliance, but intelligence cults split a child’s consciousness so they have no access to their alters that have been sent to live in dimensions of joy and wonder — these alters are primarily used to ‘feed’ the cult elite. Their emotional ‘in-body’ lives are limited to fear, pain and compliance.

I wish to state very clearly that I am not inferring that cult rituals are ‘out-of-body’ experiences that take place in different dimensions. Cult rituals take place in the ‘real world’ and are used to program members to dissociate at specific frequencies aligned to Dark Lord or Lord of Light entities (demons or gods.) Sometimes the brain of a girl is carefully aligned to specific frequencies so that her body becomes a frequency gate for an entity to pass through. Rituals can be used to align an entire cult congregation to the same frequency. (Each member’s brain then emits the same frequency.) When triggered, each member will ‘send’ an alter at this frequency out of themselves. An entity of light or dark then feeds on this projected psychic energy. This is known as the act of ‘worship.’

It is my understanding that the intelligence community has deliberately been working to technologize astral plane programming. Their goal is to control ‘in-body’ consciousness and behavior through ‘out-of-body’ alters stored at frequencies beyond ‘in-body’ consciousness. The most common trigger to activate astral plane communication (between the ‘out-of-body’ alters of two people) is two knocks. This reflects a child’s primary programming—there are two syllables in the word “O-pen.” One knock means “Close.”

Guinea pigs are usually a stage in a process intended for general application. Is this technology being developed to cue the average brain to dissociate more and more consciousness into out-of-body dimensions (such as grids or networks) that exist beyond conscious range? Are common social symbols being used to trigger the average citizen to project her or himself into collective psychic dimensions, reducing in-body consciousness, and making one less resistant to authority? Society is already very dissociative. A common greeting is “There you are,” rather than “Here you are.” We are obsessed with seeking a ‘higher plane,’ rather than rooting ourselves in physical human reality — in our own mortality. It is my understanding that ‘living on a higher plane’ reduces you to a fragmented diminished form of consciousness, causing you to become less of yourself, not more. It also makes you more susceptible to entities that feed off white light frequencies of consciousness.

We live most fully, most deeply connected to the full range of our psychic power in-the-body, as a healed, fully-human consciousness that integrates stars and demons, dissolves the cross, and allows every frequency in the four quadrants to merge:

I’ve found love among the demons and I’ve found love among the angels. There’s love in every frequency, in all the hearts that pulse in the dark, in each dimension of colour and light. Singing their heart song in every frequency, singing their song of the universes, song of another way, of choice, possibility. The only-good heart has always been more than only and good. It is a heart human enough for all the parts, all the colours, voices, frequencies. I name that heart now, I name her human … I name her home.

Singing. Voice takes me in an exquisite scattering of nerves, an orgasm of notes sung body-wide. I am suspended among the starry dark, I am singing, every nerve a colour note. The Stars answer with their shimmering voices, the Dark with its deep cradling throb, and the Universes open their doors, countless rays of Colour stretch toward me, into me, deep into the harp strings quivering within each cell. I vibrate with the song of every Colour come together, their touching place, singing me whole.

Home is me. (The Only-Good Heart, pages 213-214)

©2004 Beth Goobie. Beth Goobie is the author of, at last count, 17 books of fiction and poetry. Her three books concerning cults are Scars of Light (poetry, NeWest Press, 1998), The Only-Good Heart (fiction, Pedlar Press, 1998), and The Colours of Carol Molev (young adult fiction, Roussan, 1998). She has won the Pat Lowther Memorial Award for poetry and has been short-listed for the Governor-General’s Award for Children’s Literature. In 1998, she was awarded the Joseph S. Stauffer Award by the Canada Council. The Only-Good Heart is available from Pedlar Press, Box 26, Station P, Toronto M5S 2S6 Canada. This article has previously appeared in Paranoia (